Moving Forwards

These last few years have been nothing short of an intense roller coaster ride. Perhaps one day I will get into specific details about what has went on with me psychologically but for now, I am focusing on moving forwards. This is incredibly difficult to do as I am still not getting any answers for my health struggles which have undoubtedly contributed greatly to the ups and downs of these last few years. My throat is in a decent amount of pain now and it has felt as if a bomb has been sitting there ticking and could go off at any moment. It has been horrifically terrifying while also making me feel more alive than I have ever felt. Perhaps it is nothing too serious or life threatening but doctors have not found anything wrong other than some irritation. The lack of any answers has my mind bouncing around like a ping pong ball.

Whatever is going on with my physical health has undoubtedly created intense complications with my mental health. I have been in and out of manic and panicked states of mind and I have not made the best decisions for myself. I have not presented myself well. I also am not beating myself up. I have felt awful and I've done the right things to address it. Also, too much blame and consequences have been put on me without communication or honesty. Taking responsibility can never be one sided.

My guide to ontology is fantastic. It is not practical enough to be anything significantly world changing but it is not insignificant. I'm never giving up on it or my philosophy. My philosophy, outside of the meta theory, is also fantastic although it is not simple or easily understood right away. There is a future with it and I will never stop fighting for that future.

The following is important

I have come to know and understand myself well enough that people shouldn't be like me. I often approach things in a highly unorthodox manner and I am not someone to emulate directly. This is important to understand if one is to really understand my philosophy. I am not trying to be some leader or role model. I am not trying to be anyone that anyone should be like. We put people and things on pedestals way too much as a society. I am trying to be myself and nothing else. This is all I would ever want for anyone to emulate in relation to me.

Be Yourself, Express Yourself