Not Your Fault

Life is not fair. No matter what happens to us in our lives, we can't expect anyone to care, help, listen, or do anything for us. No matter what happens to us in our lives, it is our responsibility to take responsibility for ourselves.

Although, it is entirely possible that we get dealt an awkward hand to play. It is entirely possible that the life circumstances we are in, are not our fault. It is entirely possible that we just got screwed over. It is entirely possible that we are human and we dealt with things within the best of our ability but it was still ugly.

It is okay to not deal with things in the most ideal way. Life is messy.

What is not mentally healthy, is being a martyr and taking responsibility for the actions of others. If communication is non-existent, we can't do anything about what others say, do or think. We can only take responsibility for ourselves. Sometimes life just sucks and we get fucked over. This is where a cynical mindset is the correct reaction, although certainly not ideal.

I am not referring to ancient cynicism in this post although that is usually what I refer to when I mention cynicism. I am referring to the mindset of assuming negatives from others and how we often only look out for ourselves, in this example. When we are fucked over on a regular basis without any say or management over what occurs, the accurate reaction is to develop a cynical mindset. It is not healthy. It is not ideal. It is what is real though. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, that is the correct human reaction.

I believe the mentally healthy mindset to hold here is to recognize the cynical mindset when it occurs and embrace it. Understand that things are not necessarily your fault and you do not have to take responsibility for the actions of others. You can only take responsibility for yourself.

People suck. We get fucked over sometimes. People get away with things and don't always face consequences. Life is not fair.

It's not your fault though.